Please help! In a dilemma...

It was the first day of the dragonboat competition and my team (NUS) was all prepared to give a good fight. We had to go through the preliminary round first before getting into the finals and looking at our competitors from the particular heats event we were in, we knew that getting a first place was not a difficult task to do and were confident of securing a spot in the finals (Just as long as we are top three in the heats, we are able to qualify for the finals). While we were warming up for the race, our coach suddenly came over and called us to gather around him. He decided to abandon the initial plan of getting first for the heats and told us to get second placing instead. His reason was that we could get a better lane for the finals and this would pose as an advantage to us (Though minimal, the water conditions are different for every lane and this would be beneficial or problematic to the team depending on the lane they are in. For example, the water currents are stronger in lane 1 as compared to lane 2 and this means that the rowers in lane 1 need to expend more energy to paddle to overcome the stronger currents).

Although shocked at the sudden change of plans, we decided to adhere to our coach’s decision and ‘try’ to get second instead. We went down and raced but lo and behold, we were too fast for our competitors. They were lagging way behind and we slowed down for them to catch up with us. However, we were nearing the finishing line and seeing that our ‘closest’ rival was nowhere near us, we deliberately slowed down even more and some of us even stopped paddling just before the end, afraid that we would cross the finishing line first. We waited and immediately after our competitor crossed the line we followed suit and came in second.

Our actions were obvious to the spectators watching on shore and had caused quite abit of commotion. People began questioning our actions and motives. Our rivals were even more unforgiving in their comments. They said we were cocky and had no sense of sportsmanship. One of them even blogged about it and this is what he had to say:


And in today's race at Bedok Reservoir.... there was this particular women's team which actually slowed down (maybe they were really tired?) just before the last bouy to let the other incoming team went through first.No idea exactly what's the rationale for doing so - but this sheer act seriously puts down that incoming team, humiliating them. I seriously dont think they deserve this kinda 'treatment'. Sportsmanship is not just about playing fair, but also abt respecting your opponents by putting in your best. So when you stopped/ deliberately slowed down and let the others go past you ....... oh well...

His blog post had generated numerous responses and most agreed with what he said. Here are some of the comments given:

‘indeed. there were gasps and commotions from where i stood and watched. i was appalled too. given the kind of rep that womens team have.’

‘their actions have made a total mockery of the first position. if said team thinks their so damn fast that they can afford to be cocky enough to give up first spot, then shouldnt they be fast enough to overcome whatever disadvantages lane 3 poses?….. …..team of the year (and mayb president's team of the year this year) indeed! this is what nus is teaching their athletes to emulate’

‘i am appalled by how NUS actually slowed down like few metres before the finishing line. I wonder what teachings they circulate within the team. Certainly not admirable.’

My team was definitely not proud with what we had done. However, we kept quiet and tolerated the much talk about us because we knew if we spoke up we might infuriate even more people. Now people see us in a different light and dislike us even more. The conflict and tension between our opponents are even more profound these days.

If you were one of my teammates, what will you have done? Will you have listened to my coach and follow his decision or will you ignore him and just do the best you can for the race? My coach might be angry if you don’t listen to him in the end yet if you listened and get second for the race, people would start criticizing about you, which was what happened.

Furthermore, upon hearing those terrible comments thereafter, what will you have done? Ignore them and just move on? Or speak up to defend yourself? Note that if you speak up, you may still be shot down repeatedly and never-ending arguments will ensue. This would generate a even bigger conflict. So how?

This is a true scenario and up till now I’m still troubled by it whenever I think back, as the conflict is never really solved. Hopefully, I get to hear what solutions you guys have to offer and know what I should have done in this kind of situation.

Do we deserve the medals and trophies in the end??

P.S. Sorry for this long post as this problem requires a lot of explanations with the technical terms and all. If you still don’t understand some parts of the problem please let me know! I apologize for any inconvenience caused! Hah…

Developing effective communication skills. Is it important???

Communication is a phenomenon that is happening ALL the time. Our entire lives have been dedicated to communicating with others either formally or informally. This is because we are situated in an environment where we are always surrounded by people (unless we are being castaway in some remote island devoid of any living souls) hence interacting with others is something that we cannot avoid. Humans are biologically designed to be social creatures, a characteristic trait that is essential for survival due to our dependence on others. Even the socially inept will have to communicate some point in their lives no matter how infrequent their interactions are. This is probably the reason why prisoners are placed in isolation cells as a form of punishment to prevent them from having any social contact with the outside world. In fact, being imprisoned in an isolation cell is extremely torturous for many prisoners where I’ve heard that some have gone insanely mad from being isolated too long. Hmm…




Modern technological advances have inevitably caused us to be placed on a global frontier, thus effective communication skills are necessary tools to enable us to have a competitive edge. Communication can reveal much about oneself, whether you’re just a brawn with no brains or a blonde who do actually possess some substance despite stereotypical notions.


A blonde can actually be a lawyer?? No kidding.

Companies want someone who can communicate well so that he or she can represent a good corporate image for the organization not just locally but on a worldwide stage. Therefore, developing effective communication skills is important as it helps one to score an interview, clinch a deal and build interpersonal relationships with business associates.

In an informal setting, communication allows one to foster friendship ties with others so as to widen one’s social network, which can prove to be useful later part in life. It also enables one to resolve conflicts so as to ensure a more peace-loving and harmonious society, making the world a better place… ideally speaking. Hah.

These days, chasing someone of the opposite sex is a difficult task unlike the Stone Age times when members of the opposite sex just come together and mate. Even then, I do believe they possess some non-verbal communication cues to signal one another that they are ready to ‘go forth and reproduce’. Non-verbal communication cues still exist in the dating arena today but they are subtler. Sometimes it is hard to interpret what the other party is thinking. One way to judge whether he or she is interested in you is through their body language, eye contact, tone of voice and touch. Moreover, being attractive no longer just means being good-looking but knowing how to speak well too. How many times have you caught sight of a gorgeous guy or girl but only to be turned off once they started talking? On the other hand, if someone is able to speak eloquently and with confidence, he or she may exude a charisma that makes he or she attractive even though they may not be that good-looking. This could be why some guys employ flowery words to ‘dupe’ the women they are interested in. Haha.

Lastly, having good communicative skills not only can aid oneself but help others as well. For example, motivational speakers who enrich the lives of others and inspire them to live a better, fulfilled life. Randy Pausch, a professor from Carnegie Mellon became a worldwide sensation due to his presentation on ‘the last lecture: Achieving your childhood dreams’. At that time, he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and his days were numbered. His moving presentation shows people that he is not going to let the days go by him but to live the fullest as he can. Unfortunately, he passed away this late July. He was an exemplary figure of how effective communication can touch and inspire the lives of many.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ji5_MqicxSo
Website of Randy Pausch's video on 'the last lecture'

On a personal note, effective communication skills are important to ME because they affect how others view me as a person. Somehow my friends often do not take me seriously probably because of the way I talked. They even frankly told me that I speak rather brashly, peppered with lots of 'lahs' and 'lohs'. In other words, they feel that the way I talk is ATROCIOUS! One of them even commented that if I'm going to talk like that during my job interviews or when meeting clients, I'm totally going to screw it up. However, when some of my friends read my essays, they were impressed that I can write so fluently yet talk like crap. Furthermore, I'm always overwhelm with anxiety when preparing for job interviews that when it is my turn, my mouth would clamp up and I'll be totally lost for words. Expectedly, I didn't get the job. Therefore, it is crucial for me to brush up on my communication skills so that I can articulate my words properly and to prove to my friends that I'm NOT as DUMB as they think I am. Also, I hope to one day clinch my first job interview!

To sum it off, communication is intricately intertwined with our lives and we cannot live without it. In order to survive and be on top, it is therefore important to develop effective communication skills. =)

Edited: 2/9/08